SPACE JOKES, PUNS, and IMAGES

This post is a small collection (republished from my original Carsonia blog) of some favorite silly one-liner space puns and jokes found over time from all around the internetz! There are SO MANY - If you have a favorite not included here, let me know and I'll add it!
:-) ENJOY!

* Einstein developed a theory about space, and it was about time too.
* What is a light year? The same as a regular year, but with less calories
* How does the Solar System hold up its pants? With an asteroid belt
* What do you can an alien with three eyes? An aliiien :-)
* How does the man-in-the-Moon cut his hair? Eclipse it

* Why didn't the Sun go to college? Because he already had a million degrees!
* What kind of music do planets like? Neptunes!
* What does a space turkey say? "Hubble, Hubble"

* You hear about the chef on the space station? He's not much of an astronaut but his food is out of this world!
* A rise in mercury sometimes mars life on earth, how else would nature planet?
* He knew everything about constellations, some might say his knowledge of the night sky was astronomical.
* I thought about studying astronomy for university but I knew I would just be taking up space.

* NASA accepted the wildebeest’s application, and around our planet a brave gnu whirled.
* Those who study the moon are optimists. They look at the bright side.
* Two ladies were discussing the planetarium show they had just seen. One said the show was fantastic. The other agreed but added ‘Most of it was over my head.
*  When NASA puts 20 head of cattle into outer space, it will be the first herd shot around the world.

* How do you organize a space party? You PLANET.* Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun. But I have never been able to make out the numbers.
*Did you hear about the blonde that stayed up all night to see wherethe sun went?It finally dawned on her.

* What holds the moon up? Moonbeams. 

* Why is an astronaut like a football player? A: They both want touchdowns!

* How do you get a baby astronaut to sleep? You rocket
* What kinds of fish live in space? Starfish
* Scientists have found the center of Jupiter.......contains the letter i
* How many astronomers does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they like the dark
* How far can you see on a clear day? 92,955,807 miles (to the sun)

* Living on Earth may be expensive, but we do get a free trip around the sun every year!
* Where do astronauts keep their sandwiches? In a launch-box
* What did Mars say to Saturn? Give me a ring sometime!
* What kind of stars wear sunglasses? Movie stars
* What did the alien cook for lunch? Unidentified frying objects
* If a meteorite hits a planet, what do we call the ones that miss? Meteowrongs
* How do you organize a space party? You planet
* Why is the Moon bald? He has no 'air

* Why does the Moon go to the bank? To change his quarters
* Why wouldn't you want to give Saturn a bath? It would leave a ring around the tub
* What do you call a crazy spaceman? An astronaut
* Why didn't people like the restaurant on the Moon? Because there was no atmosphere
* Why did the cow go up in the spaceship? To see the Mooooooooooon
* How do you have communion in space if you don't have mass?
* Where does an astronaut park his car? At a parking meteor.
* What channel do asteroids like to watch? The comet-y channel
* How do we know Saturn's been married more than once? Just look at those rings!
* OMG They have discovered WATER ON MARS http://apod.nasa.gov/apod/ap050401.html

* When do astronauts have lunch? At launch time.
* I heard there's a new restaurant on the Moon, but it lacks atmosphere
* Why did the sun go to school? To get brighter
* What is a spaceman's favorite candy bar? A Mars bar
* What do planets like to read? Comet books
* How does a meteor shower? With Comet.

* What do they use when they run out of drinking cups in space? The Big Dipper
* What is the center of gravity? The letter v
* Are the Moon and the Earth good friends? Yep, they've been going around together for yrs
* What do astronauts put on their toast? Space jam
* If athletes get athletes foot, then what do astronauts get? Missile toe.

* What hot drink do aliens enjoy? gravi-tea
* I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.....it's impossible to put down!
* How do astronauts add more protein to their diets? They make it meteor.
* I would go to space, but the cost is astronomical!
* One morning I got up around 5:00 a.m. and wondered  "Where did the sun go?"  and then it dawned on me.

* How can you tell when the Moon has had enough to eat? When it's full
* How do you ride a horse in space? Use a saddle-lite
* What kinds of plates do they use in outer space? Flying saucers
* What kinds of music do planets sing? Neptunes
* An astronaut wrote about flying to the moon twice. It was double-spaced.

* Cassini spacecraft took pictures of Saturn and Earth. It was the best of both worlds.
* When astronauts die, the local paper runs an orbituary.
* Two dating astronauts met up for a launch date.

* An astronaut broke the law of gravity and got a suspended sentence
* An astronaut who fails on a weightlessness experiment must be aware of the gravity of the situation.

* Becoming a space pilot requires a good altitude
* Is that the Dog star? You can be Sirius!
* The satellite went into orbit on January 1st, causing a New Year's revolution
* Why is the Moon up so late these days? Don't worry, he's just going through a phase.
* Scientists allow us to see the sun in a different light
* Sitting in the sun can make you well-red

I'm sure I'll be adding to this list! :-)