#AdventWord #WAIT - Wait, but not too long!

Today's #AdventWord is #WAIT
Sometimes we wait for things to ripen or to be "ready", but be careful not to wait too long. Perhaps this will resonate with you: I hear that quote "life is what happens while you're making plans"... and I think: life is also happening while people wait and then wait too long, often forgetting what it was they were waiting for or even their hopes and dreams. I see people dying before they've tried what they wanted to try. Remember to actually DO or TRY some of the things on your bucket list as there are reasons why the items are listed! I see people waiting for the OTHER person to forgive, to change, or to grow in the direction the waiting individual feels is appropriate. For a while I waited, for someone, alone, trying too hard and being too worried about being on my own. Then, I realized that I didn't have a reason to wait. I had to go out and live. Most of the time, it is true that "a body at rest, stays at rest." I ended up being awesomely confident, still open to meet people at any time, and went on to finish graduate degrees and travel the world. Waiting itself isn't bad, but waiting for your life to "become" or "come to you" isn't necessarily going to happen. You must get out there and live it. In some of my favorite words from William Wallace (d. 1305)
"Every man dies. Not every many truly lives"
Let a little wind lift you so you can get moving. You never know how you may be transformed.

I went paragliding while in Slovenia!

‪#‎Episcopal‬ ‪#‎Anglican‬ ‪#‎SSJE‬ ‪#‎EDOLA‬ AdventWord was created by SSJE (The Society of St. John the Evangelist) and is the Anglican Communion's Global Advent Calendar. I'm using it as a daily meditation, prayer, photo post, and a way to connect in spirit to millions during this season of light and hope. You can join me in creating your own. Just take a picture and post it with the day's AdventWord tags! Click HERE for their website and for their daily AdventWords.

A Prayer for Quiet Confidence

A Prayer for Quiet Confidence

O God of peace, who has taught us that in returning and rest we will be saved, in quietness and confidence will be our strength: By the might of your Spirit lift us, we pray, to your presence, where we may be still and know that you are God; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

~ Book of Common Prayer

Photo by Caroline Carson

10 Reasons Why I'm Not Afraid to Travel Alone

I'm not afraid to travel alone - not in the least! 
I am pretty afraid of spiders though...as any of my friends or students will tell you!
It's a very common idea that it is dangerous to travel alone, and even more so as a woman. There are differences of experiences when you compare men and women traveling alone, but it's 2015 and taking safety precautions has become a habit for almost everyone. I'm occasionally more worried about getting to my car safely on an early, quiet Sunday morning on deserted Frenchmen Street in New Orleans, than I am worried about trying to find a train station and get myself to an airport in a foreign country. Knowing about where you're going, the cultural differences, knowing how to dress appropriately in that culture, and being resourceful are all things that are vital to traveling alone. Being watchful of your surroundings and having an idea of where others are is good advice for anyone at any time.

Me in the amazing UNESCO site of Uplistsikhe, Georgia

I've written some about some of my travels here in former blog posts. Here are a few:
Chiusa, Italy
Mungeli, India and Mandwa Mahal, India
South Korea and Cheorwon
I usually get questions about my travels, ranging from "How can you afford that?" to "WHY are you going to X when you could go to Y or Z?!"
I'm expecting similar questions and a little more concern from folks regarding possible upcoming trips. I will surely blog about them, but in the meantime, wanted to write down some thoughts I have on solo travel.

                           The beautiful rolling hills and cattle of Azerbaijan. Photo by Caroline Carson

I mostly travel alone, not because I dislike people, but because I actually LIKE to have freedom to make my own choices about places to visit or activities and to be on my own schedule. Often, I am traveling with a group first, on mission work, a choral trip, or workshop, and then I want to explore another place alone. If I'm in one location for a week, there might be a day when all I really want to do is drink coffee in a park staring at flowers and petting dogs in Italy or to read a book along the banks of a gently wafting river in Scotland. I prefer visiting UNESCO sites, churches, and museums, but I love meandering through markets, strolling down picturesque streets, or finding myself a spot on the ground where I can lie down on greeny grass, and look up at the sky to ponder the meaning of life.

Handsome and sweet dog in Padova, Italy. Photo by Caroline Carson

10 Reasons Why I'm Not Afraid to Travel Alone

1. I have a sense of adventure that I refuse to limit simply because I live alone
I'm not going to wait until someone comes along and says it's ok to go to a certain place or decides to join me. Planning can often be easier when preparing a trip for yourself. I like having adventurous "me time". 

Paragliding outside of Ljubliana, Slovenia. Selfie by Caroline Carson :-)

2. I Do My Research
I enjoy spending time carefully crafting a unique trip! I spend hours online looking for deals and looking into the distances between cities. I was able to see the oldest musical instrument in the world and go paragliding for the first time while in Slovenia after I discovered that balloon rides were temporarily banned in the country. If I had not looked into this, I would have missed out on some history AND some fun. This is not to say that one should not be spontaneous while traveling - that has its own awesomeness to it! 

Throwing paint on a Buddhist stupa in Kathmandu, Nepal. Photo by Caroline Carson

3. I Trust My Gut
Regarding safety, I try not to do anything abroad that I wouldn't do at home. I stay aware of my surroundings, decently aware of the time and how much daylight I have left. I don't flash money or my cell phone around. I ALWAYS let people know if I am hiking or climbing somewhere. If any hikes include forested areas, I have a walking stick as well as a knife with me. I take enough water and some food for energy. I always carry Benadryl with me. Yes, sometimes it's possible to forget something (like sunscreen) or do dumb things (like the time I was on a mountain when clouds & lightning came up too quickly), but less over time and with experience! If something feels unsafe, it very well may be so I will avoid it.

Sunlit reeds and tree outside of the UNESCO Bulguska temple site in North Gyeongsang province. 
Photo by Caroline Carson

4. The real world isn't always what we see on TV...even in the news
The media can display much more violence than nonviolence. Some assume that all people of a certain culture are what they have associated with a negative person, group, or incident. On the ground where the real folks are, people around the world eat dinner, they dress and go to work or school or about their days, and they laugh and cry JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE. 
We are HUMANS on ONE planet.
We need to make an effort to get to know one another!

Dancer of Columbian origin at a Rafain show near Iguazu, Argentina. Photo by Caroline Carson

5. People are people
With solo travel, I feel that I become a better observer of people and places around me. I'm much more compassionate as a result. I also occasionally realize what it feels like to be an outsider, however minor or major the situation may be. It can be uncomfortable sometimes, when you stand out based on your looks, gender, religion, language, etc. It can be an especially strong difference when you spend time with some people who have been born into certain conditions which prevent them from having a healthy or free life and/or future. These are very important feelings that can change your life and open your mind to what goes on in the world.
I'll repeat what I said for # 4 here! 
We are HUMANS on ONE planet.
We need to make an effort to get to know one another!

Kids playing in the mud and water. There is something universal in having a great time.
Outside Bilaspur, India. Photo by Caroline Carson

6. I can stay within my budget. 
I have been EXTREMELY lucky to have traveled internationally on choir tours, mission trips, conducting workshops, partially or fully funded trips, and getting paid for teaching in various international programs. When I make trips like these, I try to go somewhere nearby afterwards - on the cheap. After a conducting workshop in Bulgaria when I was a student, I created a proposal to return the following year and teach about music and American music education. It was accepted and partially sponsored! I did this three times. Each time, after I left Bulgaria, I had saved up for a ticket and few days in a hostel, a friend of a friend, or a bed and breakfast in a nearby country. Buying tickets when and where I want them saves me time and money. Sometimes, I spend hours online, plugging in different cities within a specific distance from my original destination. I love Travelocity, SkyScanner, Booking.com, Hotels.com, and I read reviews ad nauseum.

Mask in Venice, Italy. Photo by Caroline Carson

7. You'll make plenty of friends if you want to
Sometimes, it's a kid sitting next to you in a train and he also has a big ice cream cone. Sometimes, it's a person you meet while asking directions. 
Whether it's a person, dog, elephant, butterfly, or capybara, you will have opportunities to make friends. 
You might even make friends with yourself.

My friend Bernardo, a Capybara from Brasil. Photo by Caroline Carson

8. Scenes like this:

Sagrada Familia in Barcelona, Spain. Photo by Caroline Carson                  

When traveling alone, I have often have time to ponder and document my journey. Personally, I love photography and having several hours to photograph an area, building, or event makes me happy. My father was a photographer and sometimes when I'm deeply transfixed by the beauty of afternoon light (as above) or a scenic view in a particular country, I feel closer to him when I'm photographing it.

Paprika at a market outside of Sighisoara, Romania

9. Personal Growth and Confidence
You have to follow directions, find your way around, problem solve on the spur of the moment, figure out where to eat, learn who to trust, etc. Once, due to a series of train delays, I arrived in my destination in Slovenia at 11:00 PM. The station was closed, everyone disembarked and went about their merry ways, and I had NO idea in which direction to go from the station to find the street where my hotel was. In fact, it was quite scary. I had no cell service and my battery was dying. I ended up walking eight blocks and popping into a bar or two before I found someone who spoke enough English to point me in the right direction! I learned from this: to check out not only the map on my phone before I went, but the street view as well so that I'd know how it looked on the ground. I also learned that sometimes you just have to start walking.

No matter how much personal growth one experiences, being able to have gelato
any time you want it is still cool.

10. Life is Bigger Than Me
You might find yourself in the back of a truck with eight Chinese tourists at midnight, about to climb over the locked fence to get back INSIDE the nature reserve where your hotel is in the jungle of Nepal only to find the power is out, it's 100 degrees, and the mosquitoes aren't deterred by your netting. It happens. Or, you might explore a cemetery at the top of a mountain in Sighisoara, Romania and climb down the wrong part, to find yourself, and your students, lost. You didn't expect that and now have to figure out how to get everyone back to the city safely before dark and you can't go back UP the mountain because the cemetery is walled on the other side and now locked. You might even end up being the only hotel guest in a gigantic and creepy mansion on the edge of a massive loch in northern Scotland which provides you with nightmares, but also homemade whiskey pecan pie, stories from the barkeep, and two hours of throwing stones into the loch and pondering life as the dreary sun sets around midnight. 
Whatever it is, it makes you grow. It doesn't just enrich your life, it GIVES you life.

Hiking to the Obergurgl glacier, Austria. Photo by Caroline Carson

Dunnottar Castle, Scotland. Photo by Caroline Carson

When Making Lemonade Isn't Enough

                               "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade" 

We've all heard that from time to time. I'm having a week of lemon-filled thoughts. End-of-semester crunch time, fingers in many pots, wondering what's on people's minds (when I know I shouldn't), etc. I've been both excited and apprehensive about things (who isn't). 
I've also heard that "When life gives you lemons, throw them back". 

But wait, that's not so nice. I don't do that, but I've felt it. 

I've learned that I can make lemonade out of life's lemons very well. I'm pretty resourceful and tend to create my own opportunities, but I also feel like I have a decent grasp on the fact that days in life range from the downright awful to the unabashedly glorious. It's been a week filled with both, yesssirreee. Even my rainbow unicorn & stars socks and my fun coffee socks didn't help even the keel. Boo. Time often helps though. It allows problematic situations to settle into a drinkable, lemony slush.

GAAAH, will I stop with the analogies.......probably not. 

The aforementioned slush is probably only drinkable with sugar and water, a team effort.

What if it's not a situation? What if people throw you lemons? Dealing with disappointment from unfulfilled expectations can be hard. In varied degrees, I imagine that most of us experience stress, fear, and worry over disappointing others while at the same time, we try and protect ourselves from being disappointed by others.  Working together sometimes does the trick...there's that team effort again :-)

I try to live my life in a confident, passionate, and authentic way. I'm openly sensitive and currently am the most "present" I've ever been in my entire life (thank you discernment and deep thoughts by the water in City Park). Being so present is truly wonderful and exciting, but can leave you vulnerable too. 

So what to do.... 

Avoid stresses? How is that living? 

Avoid the lemon-throwers? Hardly. 

Maybe I should try apples? Hmmm....just kidding!

Oh dear... What is is about throwing fruits?

And these memes? Yes, I had some time on my hands today.

What if people are gently handing you lemons they're not even aware of? This week, I've witnessed people simply walking by and dropping their lemons in my general vicinity. So WHAT business, pray tell, is it of mine to pick up these lemons? Ummm.... I'm a caring teacher and colleague? Is it that I want the best for everyone even though I know I cannot solve their stuff? Is it that I cannot alleviate fear in colleagues that has been constructed over years or even passed down to them by well-meaning higher-ups? 

Le Sigh. I have no real answers. Welcome to my ponderings.

Last month, I took some lemons, made some pretty good lemonade, and then watched as it was enjoyed. Only later did I realize that there wasn't any left for me. Today, this new month, I decided to collect the lemons, make some into lemonade and hold onto some others for selling or making more lemonade later.

I also decided that I should use magic and turn lemons into other juices because

I am amazing :-)

A Prayer for Quiet Confidence

A Prayer for Quiet Confidence

O God of peace, who hast taught us that in returning and rest we shall be saved, in quietness and in confidence shall be our strength: By the might of thy Spirit lift us, we pray thee, to thy presence, where we may be still and know that thou art God; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. 

~Book of Common Prayer

#Episcopal #BCP #prayer #EDOLA #Anglican #God #confidence

"May you live all the days of your life.."

"I’ve been terrified every day of my life but that’s never stopped me
from doing everything I wanted to do."
- Georgia O’Keefe (1887-1986)

I love this quote. It has long been one of my favorites, not necessarily because I am a Georgia O'Keefe enthusiast (although I do admire her work and how she moved away from irony and crticism in art and towards a freedom of expression and rich, sensuous images), but I love it because I resemble it. Having finished a portion of the New Orleans Civic Symphony rehearsal this evening, I'm aware that this is a perfect example of what I always dreamed of, yet never thought I would be able to accomplish. I'm kind of proud of myself, woohoo! Why? I have social anxiety and sometimes, being up in front of groups can be terrifying. Most folks tell me they would never have known that. I think I hide it relatively well for at least 50% of the time....

My mentor Larry Wyatt used to call me his "favorite shrinking violet"and I was so shy I would turn beet red when spoken to. I still deal with that occasionally and I still get nervous in large or new groups, but it is so much better than it used to be. I believe a certain amount of that is due to the fact that I take risks more now. I go ahead and jump in with both feet. I have lived long enough to make enough mistakes that trial and error doesn't scare me as much any more. I also have come to note that sometimes my sense of humor helps me "entertain" a large group. There is actually a fine line between extreme shyness and want of attention (center attention). I have met other conductors with this same set of circumstance.

So, how did I get over this? Quite simply....I haven't. I just keep on keeping on. I try my hardest not to let it stop me from doing things. Though I've been able to handle a career in teaching and conducting, have traveled in tons of countries by myself, and attend concert regularly by myself, I still am not comfortable with eating out by myself as often as other people seem to. One of my summer goals is to work on that. Having had some pretty awful experiences dining out solo, I prefer to eat with friends or to cook at home.

I live by "if you don't ask or try then you'll never know or experience" I also live by the belief that we are better for our experiences, good and bad. Life is what you make of it and I choose to make an adventure!  :-)   I know that I have this one life so I simply go forth since I cannot physically go backwards.....until certain aspects of Star Trek become available. (I would also like a Transporter and  Replicator) Don't we all have a responsibility to use as much of this one life as humanly possible? Also, I see it as a point of logic. It makes more sense to do and /or try what you want to experience rather than not to do or try it. It makes me sad when people choose not to follow their dreams because they lack motivation or are too bound by what others will think of them. I've lived through that and it STINKS.

So, hurrah for triumphs! Hurrah for symphony orchestra! Hurrah for opportunities! I'll sign off with three more quotes I love and try to live by!

"May you live all the days of your life" - Jonathan Swift (1667-1745)

"Every man dies; not every man truly lives..." William Ross Wallace (1819-1881)

from Braveheart (Wallace's father) interestingly enough, after the earlier Wallace using the later Wallace's quote (above) "Your heart is free, have the courage to follow it"