For Peace Among the Nations

Today, I offer some simple ponderings :-)

A butterfly and a caterpillar on plants in the breeze at The Audubon Zoo, NOLA

Life is good, isn't it... Life, this short time of existence in community on a fragile planet in a fortunately habitable zone. An infinitesimal fleck of matter and spark of momentary awareness in the vast cosmic realm. Life is SO SHORT for us. The only thing that makes this brevity bearable in our social, political, technological, and global adolescence is ourselves. We have each other. I dream of what is impossible in my lifetime: one open world with distinction rather than divisiveness. I dream of borderless equilibrium where strife, poverty, and fear of each other no longer exist, yet uniqueness remains and is celebrated. It would take one or two thousand years, but it could happen. 

NASA: Earth, east

I love to explore other cultures and learn from people different than myself. I find different ways of living and alternately functioning societal structures fascinating. Thus far in my life, I've been to 30 countries. Soon, I will take a very exciting trip! 
I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO EXCITED about this trip and a bit nervous as well. I will be teaching music, visiting choirs, working with youth to plan worship service presentations, sharing fun times and knowledge, and I will also be giving presentations as a NASA Solar System Ambassador in the school systems! What a FABULOUS opportunity! Still, I know that where I'm going, as an American, presents its own set of problems and I have been mentally preparing for them. I feel certain I will be safe, but there are always chances that something could happen which could change that.I would be remiss if I did not address that. It's not a place where single women, especially Americans, travel on their own very much, if at all. Folks are saying "Oh you're so brave"! I am pretty unafraid at times, but it can indeed be mixed. Still, I feel very strongly called to go there. I have ever since I met the leader of the community I'll visit. I want to show them that we are the same. People are people. I want to be a bridge and one of love. I've tried to do that in my own life between people, programs, and more. We can each do our part.
This June, I'll travel to Israel on my first pilgrimage to the Holy Land! I am so greatly blessed by God, people, by opportunities, and by my own energy and initiative to create more opportunities. II'm living and leading a great life. 
I write all of these thoughts today because I am simply pondering life and in particular, my life. I think it's healthy to do that periodically. We never know how long we have and seriously, EVERY DAY is a gift, every single one. If you are reading this, I wish you a big hug and I wish you peace, happiness, and hope!

A prayer for peace in our world (from the Church of England)

Make your ways known upon earth, Lord God,

your saving power among all peoples.

Renew your Church in holiness

and help us to serve you with joy.

Guide the leaders of all nations,

that justice may prevail throughout the world.

Let not the needy be forgotten,

nor the hope of the poor be taken away.

Make us instruments of your peace

and let your glory be over all the earth. Amen

A leaf floating on God's river, ready and willing to GO!

I Samuel 3:9 
9 Therefore Eli said to Samuel, ‘Go, lie down; and if he calls you, you shall say, “Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening.”’ So Samuel went and lay down in his place.

These verses, especially: “Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening”, resonate with me in a very direct way this Lent. I recently became a Postulant for the priesthood in The Episcopal Church (!!!) and I am hoping to attend seminary this coming Fall.
I'm 45.
Pending acceptances to MDiv programs and qualification for Financial Aid, I very well may be leaving behind a tenured university music position, a state presidency (LA-ACDA), several other jobs, and more.
Wait, WHAT?!
Having said all that, you can probably deduce that my personal journey has included much discernment as to God's will for my life and perhaps a little.....ok, a LOT of trepidation and some denial of a call that has been forming for many years.
I feel a bit like Eli, yet also like Samuel. Eli had allowed himself to wander from God's grace and presence. Sure enough, I am rather comfortable in my city, my music, my life. After having such strong and clear experiences of God's call, I overthought everything and practically discerned it away. I was excited, yet afraid of the idea of being called to ministry.

I was definitely a wayward leaf, clinging wildly to the branch trailing in the water, afraid of being swept away, maybe even of drowning. Being a conductor, I had the false sense of control down to an art, literally. I needed to learn how to let God lead. 

Luckily, more discernment and calling and then outside affirmations kept coming. A friend called from a House of Bishops meeting and said "Girrrl you need to talk to your bishop. He said he's tried to talk to you about discernment twice and that you'd shut him down both times". (*faints upon hearing)
Suddenly, I realized that this wasn't about me and my concerns, but about what God was doing in my life. I had been ignoring that. There's Eli and again, putting himself first, taking the best of the offerings.
I asked myself "Does God even speak with us today and if so, how on Earth can we tell if what we are hearing is indeed God's voice?" Samuel must have been about 12 or 13 when he heard God's voice. Thank goodness there's no age limit for God's Holy Spirit working in your life!
Then, when I thought I had all my own answers, I arrived at the beginning of my discernment and spiritual direction, I found myself "listening too hard". I wasn't expecting a booming voice from the sky, but then again, maybe I was. Samuel - fresh, unknowing and unexpecting, teaches us that we can indeed hear God and when we least expect it.
The innocence of his earnestness, wow. How do we position ourselves to better hear the Word of God? Well, perhaps we should "Go and lie down"
As I continue in my journey, I strive to be as open as Samuel. A leaf intentionally, yet freely floating on God's river, ready and willing to Go!

Leaf in small river near Kanuga, NC

(I Samuel 3:1-9)

3 Now the boy Samuel was ministering to the Lord under Eli. The word of the Lord was rare in those days; visions were not widespread.
2 At that time Eli, whose eyesight had begun to grow dim so that he could not see, was lying down in his room; 3 the lamp of God had not yet gone out, and Samuel was lying down in the temple of the Lord, where the ark of God was. 4 Then the Lord called, ‘Samuel! Samuel!’and he said, ‘Here I am!’ 5 and ran to Eli, and said, ‘Here I am, for you called me.’ But he said, ‘I did not call; lie down again.’ So he went and lay down. 6 The Lord called again, ‘Samuel!’ Samuel got up and went to Eli, and said, ‘Here I am, for you called me.’ But he said, ‘I did not call, my son; lie down again.’ 7 Now Samuel did not yet know the Lord, and the word of the Lord had not yet been revealed to him. 8 The Lord called Samuel again, a third time. And he got up and went to Eli, and said, ‘Here I am, for you called me.’ Then Eli perceived that the Lord was calling the boy. 9 Therefore Eli said to Samuel, ‘Go, lie down; and if he calls you, you shall say, “Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening.”’ So Samuel went and lay down in his place.

Lord it is night. The night is for stillness.

Lord it is night. The night is for stillness. Let us be still in the presence of God. It is night after a long day. What has been done has been done; what has not been done has not been done. Let it be. The night is dark. Let our fears of the darkness of the world and of our own lives rest in you. The night is quiet. Let the quietness of your peace enfold us, all dear to us, and all who have no peace. The night heralds the dawn. Let us look expectantly to a new day, new joys, new possibilities. In your name we pray. Amen.

The Cows of Azerbaijan and A Prayer for Joy in God's Creation

A Prayer for Joy in God's Creation
(from the Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church)

O heavenly Father, who hast filled the world with beauty:

Open our eyes to behold thy gracious hand in all thy works;

that, rejoicing in thy whole creation, we may learn to serve

thee with gladness; for the sake of him through whom all

things were made, thy Son Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Today, I had a look through some photos from my treks last summer and found a set of photos of the drive from Georgia into Azerbaijan. What a gorgeous setting, in spite of the fact that it was at least a million degrees (actually about 105) and extremely dry. I hadn't yet discovered the funnel web spider holes all over the fields (and thank goodness for that!) so I was quite at ease when we stopped to rest and so I could take this photo. This scene reminds me again that we are but a small portion of God's creation and need to keep that in mind. What would we be without the rest of our planetary residents? I, for one, love cows. I always have. The docile (for the most part) creatures in this scene give me the utmost sense of peace. It helped that I could hear faint bovine sounds and feel a gentle breeze. Even though the sun was blazing, it gave me an opportunity - and a duty - to stand still for a moment and observe life.

The Fields of Azerbaijan, summer 2015 by C. Carson

Never Take Life for Granted: Tomorrow is Not a Certainty, but TODAY I Am Happy

I'm sitting here pondering life. I should be working, but I'm not. It struck me yet again this morning how every day, every moment is truly a gift. So many of us take this for granted time and time again. I've always had an acute sense of time passing and its very vastness. Even as a child, I used to sit and "be" and just listen: to the sound of the waves, to the breeze under a starry sky, to the thoughts that came and went. Even so, I catch myself "suddenly" realizing yet again how brief our time on Earth is.
Tomorrow is not a certainty. 
I try to actively engage with life and not let my frustrations or ups & downs of particular situations peel away my inner peace and / or my excitement in general. This is easy or tough, depending on the day, but I try not to take ANY moment for granted. For the past couple of years, it's been every day that I've inhaled deeply and ask God where my journey was heading. 
Prayer is a privilege.
It allows us to connect with the Divine, a greater and eternal being, outside of ourselves. For me, this is God. The Holy Spirit is the aspect of the Trinity with whom I feel that I connect most closely. I am making a wild assumption here, but I feel that might not be common and that perhaps most people who believe in a Trinity feel more closely connected with either the Father or the Son.
                        
Think of how time - and I mean - Time as in ALL Time from the existence of anything and everything and continuing into an infinite future - think of how we fit onto this linear path. 
WE ARE SO SMALL.
It is breathtaking to me.
When I consider this, I am in sheer awe and amazement at life and being a part of it. It's what helps me live in today and live in the NOW.
Tomorrow isn't given, it is a hope.
I recently became a Postulant for the priesthood in The Episcopal Church! 
I AM SO OVERWHELMINGLY EXCITED AND HAPPY about this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! After years of pondering this calling and either ignoring it or pushing it away in various ways, a few years of spiritual direction, a year of being an Aspirant, prayer, discernment committee meetings, more prayer, ponderings, journaling, seeking advice, and paperwork, I could not be happier about it! The past year has been very affirming for me and living into this call - out loud - has become pure joy! (It has also had moments of humor as I tell people I'm on the road to becoming "Parson Carson" :-) I am extremely grateful for those who have prayed for me and continue to do so. I'm also eternally grateful for my Bishop (Morris K. Thompson), my rector at St. Paul's Episcopal (Fr. Rob Courtney), my discernment committee, and my St. Paul's Choir. In my bishop, I find a kindred spirit, inspiration, and friend; in my rector an advocate and friend; in my friends, choir, and committee a family.

                        

It has long been my soul's hope that God could use me in ways other than through music (but still through it too!) and that it could be official and affirmed, although I do love my current career. I have no idea whether or not I will make it down this road, get into Seminary, get enough Financial Aid, or whether other factors will rise up and prove insurmountable, BUT for this time in my time:
I am happy!
I'll sign off with one of my most favorite words (with an added blessing):

My friends,

Life is short, and we do not have 

much time to gladden the hearts of

those who travel with us, so be quick to

love and make haste to be kind.

And may the blessing of the One who

... made us, and the One who loves us, and

the One who travels with us, be with

you and those you love this day and always.

AMEN.

Adapted from Henri-Frédéric Amiel (1821–1881)

                               

A Collect for Today

Lord God, almighty and everlasting Father, you have brought

us in safety to this new day: Preserve us with your mighty

power, that we may not fall into sin, nor be overcome by

adversity; and in all we do, direct us to the fulfilling of your

purpose; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

(as found in the Book of Common Prayer)

God’s Word is in All Creation - Hildegaard of Bingen

Just found these words of Hildegaard von Bingen. Inspiring!

God’s Word is in All Creation

No creature has meaning

without the Word of God.

God’s Word is in all creation, visible and invisible.

The Word is living, being, 

spirit, all verdant 

all creativity. 

This Word flashes out in every creature. 

This is how the spirit is in the flesh 

– the Word is indivisible from God.

#AdventWord #DESIRE - A Screaming Silence for Peace

Today's #AdventWord is #DESIRE
I feel very moved to share this photo today, taken by someone in the Anglican Diocese of Raiwind in Lahore, Pakistan. It shows a student standing in silent memorial yesterday, December 16th, 2015, on the first anniversary of one of the most horrific acts of terrorism and violence the country of Pakistan has experienced. On December 16th, 2014, 141 people were slaughtered in a violent extremist attack at the Army Public School in the city of Peshawar. 132 of those killed when the terrorists suddenly burst in and opened fire were children. 
They were all our brothers and sisters. 

Photo by Diocese of Raiwind (on their public FB page)

Imagine if you will, attending that school today. 
In silence, they prayed for peace.
Consider how resilient the students and staff are and how brave, how decidedly defiant of actions such as this. As pointed out by The Church of Pakistan - Pakistan is a nation of peace lovers, also fighting against terror. The Peshawar incident forced Pakistan at last to confront the Islamist militancy tearing at its own people, not to mention, the world. It enraged the public and politicians. It ignited more of a wide-spread desire to combat terror. I am more than thrilled to see several social media initiatives begun by concerned Muslims and other peace makers that say extremist terrorist actions do NOT represent them. Check out #NotInMyName if you have time. It is WELL worth it.

Other Articles and Info:
2014 Peshawar School Massacre - Wiki
Pakistan remembers Peshawar Army Public School attack - BBC

No end to Pakistan school's trauma, one year on - Al Jazeera

I didn't hear about this remembrance yesterday or the day before. It seems to be off of our US radar, but it shouldn't be (lots of things shouldn't be). I'm grateful to have met Bishop Samuel Azariah, Moderator of The Church of Pakistan and Bishop of Raiwind at the Episcopal 78th General Convention and I truly appreciate their diocesan facebook page - where I saw their post about the memorial yesterday. I follow them avidly and I am continually reminded that we are partners. WE make up the Anglican Communion, together. WE are brothers and sisters. I am examining new ways to become connected and to help foster awareness between partners in areas where connections seem infrequent. 
Here is some information about the Diocese, directly from their website: 

" The Church of Pakistan is the result of the union of four denominations: Anglicans, Methodist, Lutheran and Presbyterians (Scottish), which took place in 1970. Initially, there were four dioceses in the Church of Pakistan, i.e. Karachi, Multan, Lahore and Sialkot, but in 1980, through a special resolution and for better ministerial work, four new dioceses were created: Hyderabad, Raiwind, Faisalabad and Peshawar. There is a presiding bishop for the Church of Pakistan who is known as the Moderator and has responsibility for a three year term. The united Church of Pakistan is the second largest church in the country after the Roman Catholic Church."

The Diocese of Raiwind experienced bombings in 2013 and 2014 and several bombings in the spring of 2015 that have remained in my thoughts. We lifted them in prayer at St. Paul's Episcopal. The two churches that were bombed in 2015 were St. John's Roman Catholic Church in Peshawar and Christ Church in Lahore (a Church of Pakistan church and a member of the Anglican Communion.) At the time, I couldn't get over how strong in spirit those affected were or how awful the situation had become with regards to religious intolerance. Just how does one recover from a suicide bombing and retain faith in the community? This kind of thing means that the community needs you even more.

Here is the link to the Diocese of Raiwind's Facebook post and their photos. They are so active in peacemaking and such a positive and beautiful tribute to purity of heart and action. They often hold educational gatherings and events to promote peace and well-being.

Dio of Raiwind FB page 

Both photos I've shared today move me tremendously. Because I love space, I also share NASA's image of our Earth from space, a space that, in silence, covers our joys, our sorrows, our successes, our downfalls, and by its very existence, silently screams for peace. May God have mercy on us and guide us through this Advent of Humanity until we reach his light of unity.

***** Basic info and some interesting statistics here about Christianity in Pakistan.

The Episcopal New Service article HERE about the 2015 Pakistani bombings is eye-opening. In 2013, there were also bombings in Peshawar and Lahore. An article by the Episcopal Digital Network has details HERE. In looking for other info about the bombings, I also found this.

#AdventWord #SHINE - Ponderings for December 11, 2015

Today's #AdventWord is #SHINE

"In order for the light to shine so brightly, darkness must also be present"
~Sir Francis Bacon (1561-1626)

It seems that we, as humans and as battling civilizations, we have spent much of our existence in the dark. I feel that even though we continue this, we live in an age of light, awareness, and knowledge. Now, though we struggle with darkness, absence of love, apathy, and the fear of the unknown, we live in the light. Christ gave us that. We are about to celebrate his light entering the world. In a way, it seems to make Advent a season of darkness, again - awaiting the light, especially because we have placed it at the time of year when night falls so rapidly and we are literally living in more darkness (at least until the winter solstice!) 

These words are all over Advent in the liturgy and in my musical selections so can't help but think of these words from Matthew 4:16 
"The people living in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of the shadow of death a light has dawned."

...and these from Isaiah 9:2-7 
The people walking in darkness have seen a great light;
on those living in the land of deep darkness a light has dawned.
You have enlarged the nation and increased their joy;
they rejoice before you as people rejoice at the harvest,
as warriors rejoice when dividing the plunder.

For to us a child is born, to us a son is given,
and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
Of the greatness of his government and peace there will be no end.

Venus and Crescent Moon: 12/7/15, Carson

‪#‎Episcopal‬ ‪#‎Anglican‬ ‪#‎SSJE‬ ‪#‎EDOLA‬ AdventWord was created by SSJE (The Society of St. John the Evangelist) and is the Anglican Communion's Global Advent Calendar. I'm using it as a daily meditation, prayer, photo post, and a way to connect in spirit to millions during this season of light and hope. You can join me in creating your own. Just take a picture and post it with the day's AdventWord tags! Click HERE for their website and for their daily AdventWords.

A Monday Morning Prayer

Holy Spirit, 

Help me to embrace this new day with open arms and to share the good gifts you have given me with gladness, sincerity, and generosity. Help me to trust in you, always.

Amen.

This is Another Day, O Lord

This is another day, O Lord. I know not what it will bring forth, but make me ready, Lord, for whatever it may be. If I am to stand up, help me to stand bravely. If I am to sit still, help me to sit quietly. If I am to lie low, help me to do it patiently. And if I am to do nothing, let me do it gallantly. Make these words more than words, and give me the Spirit of Jesus. 

Amen.
#Episcopal #prayer #Anglican

i thank You God for most this amazing day

I THANK YOU GOD FOR MOST THIS AMAZING

Photo I took in 2013 at the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens

     
                                          i thank You God for most this amazing

                                          day: for the leaping greenly spirits of trees

                                          and a blue true dream of sky; and for everything

                                          which is natural which is infinite which is yes

                                          (i who have died am alive again today,

                                          and this is the sun’s birthday; this is the birth

                                          day of life and of love and wings: and of the gay

                                          great happening illimitably earth)

                                          how should tasting touching hearing seeing

                                          breathing any–lifted from the no

                                          of all nothing–human merely being

                                          doubt unimaginable You?

                                          (now the ears of my ears awake and

                                           now the eyes of my eyes are opened)

-- e.e. cummings (1894-1962)
#poetry #gratitude #thanks #Nature #nola #Episcopal

Poem found at: http://writersalmanac.publicradio.org/index.php?date=2013/10/26

And here is a GORGEOUS choral composition written by Eric Whitacre (b. 1970) sung by The Stanford Chamber Chorale and the Choir of Trinity College, Cambridge, under the direction of Stephen Layton. * https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nMbSY7b0fuM

Fascinating Wonders

God, grant as we discover the fascinating wonders and mysteries of the universe, we may come to know you more truly! 

Amen.

The Tadpoles of IC 410 
Image Credit & Copyright: Steven Coates
APOD

Canticle: Christ as a Light, Illumine and Guide Me

Holy light at Sameba Cathedral in Tbilisi, Georgia

"Canticle"

Christ, as a light
illumine and guide me.
Christ, as a shield
overshadow me.
Christ under me;
Christ over me;
Christ beside me
on my left and my right.
This day be within and without me,
lowly and meek, yet all-powerful.
Be in the heart of each to whom I speak;
in the mouth of each who speaks unto me.
This day be within and without me,
lowly and meek, yet all-powerful.
Christ as a light;
Christ as a shield;
Christ beside me
on my left and my right.

~ Adapted from St. Patrick's Breastplate, found at The Northumbria Community

A Prayer for Quiet Confidence

A Prayer for Quiet Confidence

O God of peace, who has taught us that in returning and rest we will be saved, in quietness and confidence will be our strength: By the might of your Spirit lift us, we pray, to your presence, where we may be still and know that you are God; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

~ Book of Common Prayer

Photo by Caroline Carson

Episcopal Prayer at the Close of Day

Look down, Lord, from your heavenly throne. Illuminate the darkness of this night with your celestial brightness, and from us, the children of light, banish for ever the deeds of darkness. God our judge and our teacher, let us not waste time when the day is done in guilt or self-reproach. Give us rather the courage to face whatever has been, accept forgiveness, and move on to something better. Amen. 

(from the New Zealand Prayer Book)

Chapel at the Jvaris Monastery, outside Tiblisi, Georgia. Photo by Caroline Carson

Lord, Make Me a Channel of Disturbance: The "Reverse St. Francis Prayer"

Lord, make me a channel of disturbance.

Where there is apathy, let me provoke;

Where there is compliance, let me bring questioning;

Where there is silence, may I be a voice.

Where there is too much comfort and too little action, grant disruption;

Where there are doors closed and hearts locked,

Grant the willingness to listen.

When laws dictate and pain is overlooked...

When tradition speaks louder than need...

Grant that I may seek rather to do justice than to talk about it;

Disturb us, O Lord.

To be with, as well as for, the alienated;

To love the unlovable as well as the lovely;

Lord, make me a channel of disturbance.

~ Author unknown

Chapel at the Jvaris Mlonastery near Tbilisi, Georgia by Caroline Carson, 2015

O Thou Who Art Unchangeable - Kirkegaard

I first heard this prayer, from the writings of Søren Aabye Kierkegaard (1813-1855) in the magnificent work: The Prayers of Kirkegaard by the masterful composer, Samuel Barber. I remember singing it with the Atlanta Symphony Chorus and recording it with Telarc. It was during the last few years of Robert Shaw's life. We paired it with Bela Bartok's Cantata Profana in the same concert and recording. Here's a link to information about that amazing work! Lastly, here's a link to the whole album on iTunes. We won a Grammy for it :-)

"Thou who art unchangeable, whom nothing changes! Thou who art unchangeable in love, precisely for our welfare not submitting to any change: may we too will our welfare, submitting ourselves to the discipline of Thy unchangeableness, so that we may, in unconditional obedience, find our rest and remain at rest in thy unchangeableness. Thou art not like a man; if he is to preserve only some degree of constancy he must not permit himself too much to be moved, nor by too many things. Thou on the contrary art moved, and moved in infinite love, by all things. Even that which we human beings call an insignificant trifle, and pass by unmoved, the need of a sparrow, even this moves Thee, O Infinite Love! But nothing changes Thee, O Thou who art unchangeable! O Thou who is infinite love dost submit to be moved, may this our prayer also move Thee to add Thy blessing, in order that there may be wrought such a change in him who prays as to bring him into conformity with Thy unchangeable will, Thou who art unchangeable!"

Another of my favorite quotes by Kirkegaard is pictured below.

The Peace of Being

(from my travels in Tennessee and time at St. Mary's, Sewanee, June 2015)

My afternoon was the magic of sitting in clover and grass, breathing fresh air. My evening was watching the silent flicker of fireflies from a rocking chair. My night is the cool, soft breeze under a starry sky. Thank you God, for everything! 

An Episcopal Prayer for Evening

God, grant as we discover the fascinating wonders and mysteries of the universe, 

we may come to know you more truly. 

And now, as we have come to the Sun's hour of rest; 

the lights of evening round us shine; 

We hymn Thee, the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

APOD, The Orion Bullets