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Showing posts with label hope. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hope. Show all posts

Sunday, April 17, 2016

A Journey to Pakistan

(from Nov. 2015)
Pakistan!
I'm excited to share that I've been invited to visit and present choral workshops and church music training in Pakistan! I am thrilled to have this unique opportunity to visit this country, meet tons of people, including Pakistani Anglicans, and to learn about The Church of Pakistan!
Pakistan is a country I've been curious about visiting for a few years and, while I considered applying for the VISA in 2014, I did not. I was in India at the time and learned that Indo-Pak relations aren't the best. The VISA application was also pretty daunting... As it turned out, I now have an official letter of invitation and sponsors!
So what is this all about? 
Last summer (June 2015), I was very fortunate to be an Alternate Delegate to the 78th General Convention of The Episcopal Church, held in beautiful Salt Lake City, Utah. While there, I was representing our Episcopal Diocese of Louisiana (EDOLA) as Media in addition to serving as an Alternate. I was able to meet with friends, the fabulous and friendly group of Episcopal Communicators, and also various church leaders and representatives. I interviewed some folks and shook hands with or had coffee with others. One person I met was Bishop Samuel Azariah, the primate and president bishop / Moderator of The Church of Pakistan. His home Diocese is The Diocese of Raiwind. Here is some information about the Diocese, directly from their website: 
" The Church of Pakistan is the result of the union of four denominations: Anglicans, Methodist, Lutheran and Presbyterians (Scottish), which took place in 1970. Initially, there were four dioceses in the Church of Pakistan, i.e. Karachi, Multan, Lahore and Sialkot, but in 1980, through a special resolution and for better ministerial work, four new dioceses were created: Hyderabad, Raiwind, Faisalabad and Peshawar. There is a presiding bishop for the Church of Pakistan who is known as the Moderator and has responsibility for a three year term. The united Church of Pakistan is the second largest church in the country after the Roman Catholic Church."
The Diocese of Raiwind experienced several bombings in the spring of 2015 that had remained in my thoughts. We lifted them in prayer at St. Paul's Episcopal. The two churches that were bombed were St. John's Roman Catholic Church in Peshawar and Christ Church in Lahore (a Church of Pakistan church and a member of the Anglican Communion.) At the time, I couldn't get over how resilient those affected were or how awful the situation had become with regards to religious intolerance. Just how does one recover from a suicide bombing and retain faith in the community? This kind of thing means that the community needs you even more.
The Diocese of Raiwind is extremely active. They are leaders in peacemaking efforts and often hold conferences which involve international guests. Bishop Azariah told me about some of the activities, including a small group from Sweden that visited and taught about music. I was intrigued. The Diocese regularly holds educational gatherings and gatherings to promote peace and well-being. They love music and sometimes hold Christian music conventions. HERE is the link to their blog post describing the activities. Their Facebook page is very active and describes events taking place around the Diocese. 
The hospitality and friendship to me has already been amazing and I am super excited about having such a wonderful opportunity!
* Basic info and some interesting statistics here about Christianity in Pakistan.
The Episcopal New Service article HERE about the 2015 Pakistani bombings is eye-opening. In 2013, there were also bombings in Peshawar and Lahore. An article by the Episcopal Digital Network has details HERE. In looking for other info about the bombings, I also found this.
Pakistan's notorious Blasphemy Laws are also still in effect. Created to prevent blasphemy against any religion, these laws have been used differently in various situations by various groups over the years with most of the accusations against non-Muslim minorities, resulting in life in jail or death penalties which many believe were not warranted. Though I'm not sure if the death penalties have actually been carried out, I have read that Pakistanis have been killed as a result of blasphemy via mob attacks and similar events. Here is a recent story (Nov. 2015).
Photo of Christmas festivity in Christ Church, Lahore - by Shekeel Medeeha - http://www.christiansinpakistan.com/christmas-festivity-in-lahore/ 
How Safe is Pakistan?
Well, that varies depending on your source. Keeping a low profile, avoiding crowds and heavily-populated places, and limiting publicity/media/social media about the trip and details is recommended. In spite of U.S. Dept. of State Travel Warnings to defer non-essential travel to Pakistan, few Americans have been affected by incidents.
I'm very excited for the possibility of taking this trip! I feel called to share my gifts in my own special way and to talk to the people there, make new connections, and show them that we are the same. Because there are not very many Americans in Pakistan, I feel like having this chance to make a good connection is a unique and once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. I am especially honored and blessed to be doing it as an Episcopalian and with the connections that will be made. We have the chance as travelers (different sometimes than tourists) to stand up to society's fears, bust through stereotypes, create goodwill, and see beyond the cover of the book. It helps us see life for the beautiful, diverse, wonder that it is.
~ Caroline
(written Nov. 2015 and slightly updated March 2016)

Thursday, January 28, 2016

Never Take Life for Granted: Tomorrow is Not a Certainty, but TODAY I Am Happy

I'm sitting here pondering life. I should be working, but I'm not. It struck me yet again this morning how every day, every moment is truly a gift. So many of us take this for granted time and time again. I've always had an acute sense of time passing and its very vastness. Even as a child, I used to sit and "be" and just listen: to the sound of the waves, to the breeze under a starry sky, to the thoughts that came and went. Even so, I catch myself "suddenly" realizing yet again how brief our time on Earth is.
Tomorrow is not a certainty. 
I try to actively engage with life and not let my frustrations or ups & downs of particular situations peel away my inner peace and / or my excitement in general. This is easy or tough, depending on the day, but I try not to take ANY moment for granted. For the past couple of years, it's been every day that I've inhaled deeply and ask God where my journey was heading. 
Prayer is a privilege.
It allows us to connect with the Divine, a greater and eternal being, outside of ourselves. For me, this is God. The Holy Spirit is the aspect of the Trinity with whom I feel that I connect most closely. I am making a wild assumption here, but I feel that might not be common and that perhaps most people who believe in a Trinity feel more closely connected with either the Father or the Son.
                        
Think of how time - and I mean - Time as in ALL Time from the existence of anything and everything and continuing into an infinite future - think of how we fit onto this linear path. 
WE ARE SO SMALL.
It is breathtaking to me.
When I consider this, I am in sheer awe and amazement at life and being a part of it. It's what helps me live in today and live in the NOW.
Tomorrow isn't given, it is a hope.
I recently became a Postulant for the priesthood in The Episcopal Church! 
I AM SO OVERWHELMINGLY EXCITED AND HAPPY about this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! After years of pondering this calling and either ignoring it or pushing it away in various ways, a few years of spiritual direction, a year of being an Aspirant, prayer, discernment committee meetings, more prayer, ponderings, journaling, seeking advice, and paperwork, I could not be happier about it! The past year has been very affirming for me and living into this call - out loud - has become pure joy! (It has also had moments of humor as I tell people I'm on the road to becoming "Parson Carson" :-) I am extremely grateful for those who have prayed for me and continue to do so. I'm also eternally grateful for my Bishop (Morris K. Thompson), my rector at St. Paul's Episcopal (Fr. Rob Courtney), my discernment committee, and my St. Paul's Choir. In my bishop, I find a kindred spirit, inspiration, and friend; in my rector an advocate and friend; in my friends, choir, and committee a family.
                        
It has long been my soul's hope that God could use me in ways other than through music (but still through it too!) and that it could be official and affirmed, although I do love my current career. I have no idea whether or not I will make it down this road, get into Seminary, get enough Financial Aid, or whether other factors will rise up and prove insurmountable, BUT for this time in my time:
I am happy!
I'll sign off with one of my most favorite words (with an added blessing):
My friends,
Life is short, and we do not have 
much time to gladden the hearts of
those who travel with us, so be quick to
love and make haste to be kind.
And may the blessing of the One who
... made us, and the One who loves us, and
the One who travels with us, be with
you and those you love this day and always.
AMEN.
Adapted from Henri-Frédéric Amiel (1821–1881)
                               

Wednesday, April 29, 2015

A Prayer for Peace in Our World

A Prayer for Peace in our world:

Make your ways known upon earth, Lord God,
your saving power among all peoples.
Renew your Church in holiness 
and help us to serve you with joy. 
Guide the leaders of all nations, 
that justice may prevail throughout the world. 
Let not the needy be forgotten, 
nor the hope of the poor be taken away. 
Make us instruments of your peace 
and let your glory be over all the earth. Amen 

~from the Church of England
#COE #Episcopal #Anglican #prayer #Peace #Earth
Golden Hibiscus, 2010 by Caroline Carson

Thursday, April 2, 2015

VSG Update - Almost Two Years Out from Surgery and Links

I thought that it was high time I write about my VSG surgery again! I am including links to all of my previous blog posts at the end of this post in case anyone would like to read them. I've been contacted several times over the past two years to talk about my story or to chat with friends who are considering having weight loss surgery so I feel like my previous blog posts were actually helpful to some people! Yay! That was my goal and if I can help even ONE person with any aspect of examining the pros and cons of weight loss journey and/or surgery, I'm happy I can do that! 
                               
Here's a picture of me today! Happy, more healthy, and while I feel like I could lose some more weight......and I might do that.....I am waaaaaaaay more satisfied than I have EVER been in my whole life with how I'm maintaining. I do have some frustrations and here are a few of them:

FRUSTRATIONS
- I still have to watch my weight. I knew that I would and the surgery is a tool to help you and a LIFE CHANGE. I knew that too. Sometimes though, I get mad that I still have to watch the scale, but overall, I watch it fewer times and I eat healthier so I did change my lifestyle. 
- Somehow, my eyes are STILL bigger (now much bigger) than my stomach. I still catch myself eating rapidly and sometimes eating too much. I've not thrown up, not even once, from eating, since my surgery. Most people throw up often, at least I think they might, if they overeat. When I know I've eaten too much, I hiccup a bit, feel tight in my esophagus, and feel kind of bad. Bad enough to not eat any more, but I do not feel nauseous. Well, I take that back. Twice in two years, I did feel nauseous from eating one bite too many, but I didn't push it and within minutes that went away.
- I have rediscovered "slider foods" such as chips, cake, and crackers. This is not awful, but isn't too good either because they go down TOO EASY and I can eat a lot more than I originally intended if I'm not careful.
- Drinking while eating: I still can't do this well and technically, most folks are told that you are not supposed to. If I go out after rehearsal and want to have a drink, I drink most of it BEFORE eating some of my meal and I just have to resolve to take home most of my meal.

GOOD THINGS
- I'm a size 14 which is what I was at the end of high school. I have  feeling I could be a 10 or 12, and maybe I'll want to be a 12 at some point, BUT I'M HAPPY so whatever.
- clothes are cooler and more fun to wear
- This is both good and bad......I've noticed that some of my acquaintances / friends, speak to me more, and listen more attentively to me. New people I meet, as long as they don't have the southern "Good ole' boy" syndrome, tend to look me in the eye and actually treat me like I'm present. In the past, I had many MANY incidents of (mostly men) being introduced to me and then immediately carrying on conversation with the person next to me as if I was not there. Damn shame, idiots.
- I CAN have any foods I want and so I do :-) Many folks are not able to eat certain foods.
- My hair has been able to hold curl since the surgery. It began to grow back from the hair loss I experienced so I still have many lengths overall, but it's a lot curlier!
- I don't think about my surgery or weight loss very much. I'm me and have settled into my new way of eating and I like it!

Here are PAST BLOG POSTS on my VSG SURGERY. I hope that some of these will help people. If anyone has any questions, feel free to contact me. It can be a pretty lonely place when you're researching WLS and aren't sure of many things!

1. Background, http://thewhiskeypalian.blogspot.com/2013/03/my-weight-loss-surgery-journey-part-i.html

2. VSG Journey Part II - Insurance and Going for it! http://thewhiskeypalian.blogspot.com/2013/03/wls-journey-part-ii-going-for-itand.html

3. VSG Journey Part III - Types of Bariatric Surgery - http://thewhiskeypalian.blogspot.com/2013/03/wls-journey-part-iii-types-of-bariatric.html

4. Part IV, Surgery Scheduled http://thewhiskeypalian.blogspot.com/2013/03/wls-journey-iv-surgery-scheduled.html

5. My Choice for VSG Surgery: Endobariatric - http://thewhiskeypalian.blogspot.com/2013/05/my-choice-for-vsg-surgery-endobariatric.html

6. A Day and a Half - http://thewhiskeypalian.blogspot.com/2013/05/a-day-and-half.html

7. My Journey to Endobariatric - http://thewhiskeypalian.blogspot.com/2013/06/my-vsg-journey-to-endobariatric.html

8. Discharge Day! - http://thewhiskeypalian.blogspot.com/2013/06/my-vsg-journey-discharge-day.html

9. Three weeks out from surgery - http://thewhiskeypalian.blogspot.com/2013/06/vsg-journey-update-3-weeks-out-from.html

10. Experimental Eating - http://thewhiskeypalian.blogspot.com/2013/07/vsg-experimental-eating-and-eating.html

11. 10-12 weeks out - http://thewhiskeypalian.blogspot.com/2013/07/staying-on-track-life-10-11-weeks-after.html

12. 5-month update - http://thewhiskeypalian.blogspot.com/2013/10/vsg-5-month-update.html

13. One year later - http://thewhiskeypalian.blogspot.com/2014/05/vsg-one-year-after-surgery.html

14. Hair Loss - http://thewhiskeypalian.blogspot.com/2014/03/vsg-hair-loss-yikes.html

15. VSG - What A, I Eating - http://thewhiskeypalian.blogspot.com/2014/03/vsg-what-am-i-eating.html